How Nearly Breaking My Neck Helped Me Find Direction
I’ve mentioned it on this blog before and this will likely not be the last time…
Many (many) people come to me for the sole purpose of getting help in breaking patterns that aren’t serving them.
They want a promotion and get passed over, they want a relationship but end up with the same abusive type of jerk over and over again…
It’s the same story with different spices and seasonings each time.
And… lucky for me and the people who find me, breaking patterns is what I do best, and what I love to help others do.
There are two ways to break patterns in your life that don’t serve you.
The good news is there is one way that is completely within your control and your abilities.
Now for the bad(ish) news…
The other is completely out of your control.
That’s the one I’m going to talk about first… with a story from my own life.
CONFESSION: I’m a workaholic.
I love to work.
I love what I do, so it’s easy to want to do it 24 hours a day, plus I have the freedom to make my own schedule so with that added bonus, who wouldn’t love having this purpose in their life?
The problem with loving to work, loving my specific work, and having that much scheduling freedom is those three things set the stage for disaster without the proper checks and balances.
A few years ago, that disaster struck.
I heard someone once say that you don’t gain 50 pounds overnight.
You gain 50 pounds one pound at a time and then one day you wake up, look in the mirror and realize, “I’m fat.”
Well, that happened to me… but not entirely with weight.
My weight was a sidebar to what was going on inside my body.
I’d “signed up” to help a local arts organization out of looming financial disaster.
When I “sign up” for something, I completely commit to it.
There I was – with the coaching clients I so dearly love (and hand-select because… FREEDOM) and I committed to helping this organization that was either going to barely scrape by or close leaving nearly 100 local artists out of work.
Two big commitments.
Two full-time jobs.
…and I agreed to both of them simultaneously.
(remember… I’m also a wife, mom, dog mom, volunteer…)
With my time freedom combined with my sense of determination, loyalty, and sheer stubbornness (I’m so stubborn!) it was the perfect storm for me to burn out.
I was doing exactly what I would advise any client to NOT do: over-commit.
…though I didn’t realize I was over-committing.
It was the first 5 of those 50 proverbial pounds… just a little weight… but it adds up.
As my commitments piled up I became more miserable.
Wait, no – notice how I phrased that… as though my commitments were things that were being done to me.
We all do that so often…
Truth Bomb: Commitments don’t pile up.
We allow ourselves to be overrun and then let things jam.
That’s one of many truth bombs that have been dropped on me… I have tons more in my new book (shameless self-promotion) that is available right now on Amazon.
As I allowed myself to be overrun by too many commitments and ignored the log-jam that was surely going to cause something bad to happen, I became more miserable.
There – honesty.
I started making excuses for skipping workouts or not taking the time to stay in touch with friends.
I noticed a certain pain in my neck, shoulder and left arm that I just shrugged away as soreness from lack of use… or my muscles screaming for me to get it together.
“It’s okay… I’ll do it tomorrow,” I told myself so many times… firmly meaning it each time.
Then one day there was an accident at work that caused that soreness and pain in my shoulder and neck to explode.
It was a slow explosion, but it was an explosion nonetheless.
That explosion ended up sending me to the operating room to have my spine fused, and still to this day has me without the full sensation of touch in my left thumb.
That is a change I say I didn’t ask for…
But I wasn’t making the changes to preserve my health.
So, what did the universe do?
…or what did God send me?
A change order.
I was stopped.
I was put entirely out of commission so all of those things that I did because “who else is going to/can/will do them?” had no other option but to either fall to someone else or just not get done.
Out of all of those things that I used to (lie to myself and) say “just had” to be done – some didn’t get done.
…but they had to be done.
Actually… at last check, no, they didn’t because the sun kept rising and setting and I’m still breathing… I can still see, and taste, and smell, and hear and touch… well, all but the end of my left thumb can still feel the touch of things.
I LOVE that the end of my left thumb is numb.
I type CONSTANTLY.
Right now as I type this, that thumb is responsible for absolutely zero of the typing. I don’t use it!
I can feel that it is numb (if that makes any sense… not sure if it does…) and my body has programmed my right thumb to do all of the spacing.
Anytime I make note of the numbness, I’m reminded to slow down.
As Devi Jade has told me many times (and if you don’t know Devi Jade, you need to ask me personally about her) – I need to embrace my totem animal – a sea turtle.
If you think turtles are slow, watch a sea turtle.
They’re super slow.
I’ve been taught to slow down, be a better version of myself, and a more successful person because of a pattern interrupt that was handed to me by the universe.
We all have this happen from time to time.
Sometimes a change order comes in the form of a medical emergency, or a lost pet, or a dismissal from work, or a divorce.
Those things are mostly out of our immediate control; however, we’re there for the baby steps that cause the change order.
Do you want to know the second way you can change patterns?
…the one you can control?
Freedom Design Matrix
The FDM method puts you in complete and total control of the new challenges that are in your life by breaking you out of the patterns you’re stuck in…
…those patterns that absolutely in no way serve you.
FDM is my very favorite thing to do with clients because it’s the most transformative methodology I’ve experienced as a coach, counselor, mentor, or manager.
FDM reframes your responses to people, situations, and things in your day-to-day life preventing you from getting in your own way.
…and let’s face it, we all get in our own way.
If you’re ready to get out of your own way, I’m inviting you to apply to be considered for our Freedom Design Matrix program.
You have to be ready to change your life for the better and work with the most devoted, incredible, diverse, and versatile group of coaches in the world.
Is that you?
Let’s talk to see if you’re who we’re looking to work with… because clicking the link to make your breakthrough session appointment (which is free, by the way) is completely outside of your normal patterns… so just doing that will prove to yourself that you can, in fact, change.
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