Getting Un-Stuck from Old Patterns
There was a little kid riddle my big sisters used to recite over and over again… I think they did it to get on my nerves.
Here it is:
Person 1: “Pete and Repeat sat on a wall. Pete fell off. Who was left?”
Person 2: “Repeat.”
Then person 1 would repeat it.
It was tiresome.
Usually, when people come to GILD (and me) for coaching it’s because they’re experiencing this.
No, they’re not experiencing two annoying sisters recite a riddle… they’re experiencing repeated results that differ from what they want.
They want X but keep ending up with Y.
For example, a focused woman in upper management with her sights set on a CFO role but who doesn’t understand why she continues to get passed overcame to me for help.
She told me she is angry that she was passed over because she expected to get the promotion when her predecessor left.
We discussed her progress in the role, she sent me a lot of information about her organization, her annual review notes and progress reports… I had everything I needed for a full picture of the type of work she was doing for her company and the areas her managers were challenging her to improve.
The company clearly saw leadership potential in her, but she was not quite “there” yet.
Her heart and mind was focused on excellence… but her practical application in day-to-day life was not matching her intention.
Does that sound familiar?
So many people have this issue.
They’re just like Pete and Repeat.
When she came to me we discussed a number of ways we could work together and she chose private coaching.
That means she and I work one-to-one on her specific goals, making unique and customized plans for her and meet on a regular basis.
It’s a highly effective way to work with a coach if you ever have the opportunity to do so.
We started with our engines running – created her statement of desired outcomes and then created all of her customized plans.
We’d meet every two weeks to discuss progress, strategy, and tweaks, and then we’d have mini touch-base sessions occasionally between our longer meetings.
From one meeting to the next she would have some progress, but then every few meetings… every six to eight weeks or so… she’d regress.
She’d go right back into her old patterns.
“What’s happening? You know that this is not going to get you where you need to be, and you have all the tools in place to not keep doing this… what’s the story?” I asked her point-blank.
“There’s just so much to do… I have to work 18 hour days just to get it all done,” she said with exhaustion in her voice.
“Oh, wow… you have to? We need to talk with your boss, because I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.” I responded.
“Well, I mean… there’s no way to get it all done… they’re not making me,” she explained.
“OH! They’re not making you… so you don’t have to. So stop,” I instructed.
I realize my instructions to her are way too simple… and it’s not that cut-and-dried; however, we are overcomplicating our life if we’re pushing ourselves to the point of exhaustion.
This is not the only person who has come to me begging for help in getting out of a pattern like this… one in which she is working endless hours, not living a life outside of the office, and feeling buried by a ton of work.
In all of the cases of this nature – and I don’t use the word “all” lightly… I mean all – I’ve asked for the general work hours of that person’s boss and those lateral to her… and have gotten fairly close to the same answer.
None of that person’s lateral or superior co-workers work as many hours.
There’s a problem there.
When one element of your life takes over or overruns another, there’s an imbalance.
It is nonsensical.
It’s not the way your life is supposed to work, and it is not the way you can sustain life if you continue.
The reason I was far too simplistic with that client is because she had her customized plan.
She had all of the tools, the information, and the ability to follow them.
…and she was not.
It is the same thing as wanting to lose weight, having a gym membership, not losing it, but then be angry that you’re still overweight.
It doesn’t make sense.
Why do we allow ourselves to be stuck in patterns that keep us in an endless loop of failure?
Do you want something different?
Do something differently.
Many people try and try and fail at this, and then they end up with GILD – usually initially announcing that they don’t know why we’re on the call together because they’re a lost cause.
There’s something deep down inside you that has you wondering if you actually are a lost cause.
It’s that tiny voice at the very heart of you where your light lives… and it’s screaming something at you.
If you’re quiet for a moment you’ll be able to hear it.
It’s answering that doubt…
It’s responding to that question…
“Am I really a lost cause?”
Do you hear the answer?
There’s your answer.
You’re not a lost cause because you’re here.
You’re not a lost cause because you’re willing to ask the question “am I really?”
If you really were, you wouldn’t ask that question, and you also wouldn’t do the step that’s next, but you’re going to.
What if in a month you could overcome the biggest negative pattern in your life?
What would that mean to you?
It’s possible with the Freedom Design Matrix.
That’s a proprietary methodology that has helped thousands of people throughout the world overcome patterns that keep them stuck.
…and look at you – full of hope knowing that you found the place with all the information about how to tap into the matrix and use it to unlock your full potential.
There’s a point of gratitude for your day – you’re living, breathing, and you found the thing that will propel you past the point where you are to the point you have, until now, thought may just be a dream.
Let’s talk about it – here’s a breakthrough session link so we can see if this is right for you and come up with your personal plan.
Congratulations on being bold enough to take the next step toward a rewarding and fulfilling life!