Lose Hope, Stop Wanting, & But Out
Our words are incredibly powerful.
The words we chose shape the results we get in all areas of life.
There are three words you should toss to live fully as your true and authentic self in an environment that supports the (awesome) future life you can have.
These three words people use far too often because though they feel good, they are actually negatively-charged words that focus on problems and not solutions.
When you focus on problems, you’re willingly allowing yourself to be consumed by them.
In that case, problems will take up all of your thoughts and energy.
If you focus on solutions, you’ll always have solutions.
The three words you should ax from your vocabulary are:
Each word is based on a sense of lack.
They are not solutions-based… they indicate a lack of possession and lack of control over the situation.
We’ll go one by one to explain. of them focuses on what you lack, and not what you have or are working toward.
Let’s start with the big one that is obviously negative.
“But” is a transition word that automatically cues everyone within earshot that we’re about to contradict what we just said with an excuse about why it’s not possible.
From the get-go, “but” has a negative charge that immediately indicates a downward-turn to things. Here are some examples:
I can get the project done but can’t be there for the presentation.
We’ll be at home then but don’t have time to visit with you.
I’m really proud of you but wish you’d done it sooner.
In the last example the word “but” is a transition to a negative statement that completely negates the compliment.
You may say, “But Coach Jane, it will be impossible to speak without using that word!”
My response: “I think that’s not accurate. In that statement, you could have eliminated the word and communicated the same thing. Quit it.”
There are several substitutions for the word “but” that will lead you to a solution instead of an excuse.
Those words are “however” and “and.”
Just for fun, let’s use those same sentences with the word substitutions.
Notice how the words shift what comes after the transition.
I can get the project done and you can present it.
We’ll be at home then; however, I will need to visit at another time.
I’m really proud of you and will help with scheduling next time.
They are more positive transitions that yield solution-based conclusions.
It is literally as simple as switching out the words.
Whenever we hope for something, it indicates we have a lack of it.
Hope is just a fluffy feel-good word that indicates a wish you have.
The problem with hope is that it’s not based in reality.
Wishes are dreams – and dreams without plans are just empty thoughts.
In the worldly sense (how it is most commonly used) the word hope means there’s something you desire but either lack the drive or ability to get it.
Here are a few examples:
I hope this will work.
I hope he changes his mind.
I hope she will be okay.
When used in that way, the word hope indicates helplessness and inability to enact change or inspire results.
When we use “hope” like that, we are indicating hopelessness… not the existence of true hope.
Let’s play a game with those words.
I’ve worked really hard on this so it will work.
How can we make our case so he will change his mind?
Surely there is a way we could help or support her while she heals.
The big differences in the first three sentences and the last three are the length and thought.
Use your words.
Don’t be like the common masses who use throwaway terms to communicate empty statements – use your brain and vast vocabulary to communicate in a meaningful way!
Just like the other two, want comes from a place of not having.
“I want a million dollars” indicates you do not have it.
Certainly, there can be things or situations you would like to have, however, consider replacing “want” with something else like:
Working toward _______
Looking forward to ________
Anticipating how it will feel to have ________
That change of verbiage is empowering.
Your words matter and can make a significant impact on your subconscious mind which has a domino effect on the rest of your world.
Guard your words and guard your mind!
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