Toxicity in our lives doesn’t come from just spoiled food, contaminated drinks, or polluted air; toxicity comes from negativity we perpetuate and negativity spewed out by those around us. Allowing ourselves to be exposed to this in a way we absorb it creates negativity inside our bodies. Negativity in our body sucks energy and damages our immune system.

A good thing to remember is that no matter how much we love them, toxic people come disguised as friends and family. I met a (thankfully) now-former friend of mine because our daughters were in daycare together as toddlers. Our girls liked each other and were close friends, so we became friends… or so I thought. For years I listened to this woman’s whining about her marital infidelity issues, jealousy over another friend’s financial success, and her accusing a different friend of being a social climber (behind her back, of course). All the while whenever I had an issue I wanted to talk about she didn’t call or text back. She was just never there. Our “friendship” was on her terms only, and at her convenience only.  I sacrificed time and other things that should have had my attention in order to help her with her problems. The key words there are “her” and “her problems.” They weren’t mine, but I allowed them to become mine. This non-friend was a constant victim, and I was her sounding board. It took me several years of putting up with this abuse before seeing that this wasn’t a friendship… this was a manipulative relationship that took advantage of my codependent tendencies. …and guess what? It’s no surprise that she talked about me behind my back, too – saying many of the same things she said about the other two moms we were both “friends” with. That jealous, manipulative woman was no friend at all; she was a toxic person. Good riddance!

Here’s a toxicity checklist for you. If you have friends or family members who have these qualities or tendencies, you’ll serve yourself best to steer as clear as you can for your health!

1. Chronically negative
2. Self-centered
3. Those who constantly disappoint you
4. Constantly critical (of you, others, him/herself)
5. People who waste your time
6. People who are jealous
7. Those who always take the role of victim.
8. Apathetic people; those who don’t care
9. Those who take significantly more than they give
10. Promise-breakers
11. Habitually rude
12. Anyone who uses the silent treatment as a communication tool

It may take some time to implement but think of this as taking out your emotional garbage. Put that s*** at the curb and move on to healthier emotional spaces! You’re worth it.