Attract What You Want (& Nothing else)
Les is a driven author and marketing executive who seemed to be stuck in a pattern preventing his success; That’s when Les decided to hire me as his coach. Together we uncovered patterns in his life that were holding him back from accomplishing his professional goals. One day during our coaching session after hearing him excitedly relay his progress I told him how energized I was by knowing he’d taken the steps necessary to overcome some pretty big obstacles. Then came the question he desperately needed, but probably did not want me to ask, “Les, may I have a moment to tell you what I’m not hearing here?” He took a breath and then gave permission. “Usually when we discuss your progress and make a plan for next steps, your girlfriend is woven throughout the story. Today, there’s not one mention of her. What’s up?” I asked.
Les then wove an incredible tale that I suggested he sell to Lifetime Television for Women. “Every mention of Georgia has always been either really great or really not great. There never seemed to be an in-between with you two,” I pointed out, “I’ve wondered how you ended up together – how do you think it happened?”
Les is an incredible person: loving, handsome, fit, healthy, holistic (mind/body/spirit), positive, motivated, successful, thoughtful, creative. Georgia, though merely seeing her through Les’s descriptions, seemed to be irresponsibly impulsive, inconsistent, selfishly motivated, messy, demanding, negatively focused, and not concerned with healthy living. Les never spoke negatively of Georgia, but those negative things seemed to be themes of any story involving her. Through our conversation, Les and I dug deep to figure out the answer. “When I met her, I was out on the town, and had too much to drink, which you know is rare for me,” Les said, “but I was out and she was out with her friends. When I drink, I’m at my worst, so the worst part of me was attracted to the normal part of her.”
Back it up a second and look at what Les pointed out – a part of him (the drunk and out of control part) attracted the similar part of Georgia. They had fun and ended up in a relationship but only “matched” in that way. The rest of their existence didn’t match. When they weren’t out with friends or making a night on the town, Les was focused and driven, purposeful, and enjoyed living a clean lifestyle with exercise, an organic diet, and meditation. Georgia, quite to the contrary, had trouble retaining employment, was lackadaisical, ate junk food and was fine being a couch potato. I realize opposites attract, but there’s a fine line between attraction and repulsion when it comes to opposites.
What are you attracting? Are you a positive, forward-thinking person who attracts positive, forward-thinking people? Are you allowing your true and authentic self to attract what you want in your life, or are some momentary habits or actions derailing what you really need, and attracting the exact opposite?
This is an awesome conversation, and I’d love to have it with you! Click here to schedule a free coaching session to see what we can accomplish together!